Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A New Senshi: Chapter 10.2 - It’s All About Equivalent Exchange Isn’t It?

Natalie walked the streets lost in her own thoughts until she reached a park. Sitting on a bench she pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging her legs. Resting her forehead against her knees she just began to cry. This was all her fault, how could she have been so selfish? Why hadn’t she gone home sooner? Now she’d never get to go back. All Natalie could think about was her mom and how she’d be all alone now and Amy and Katie, her best friends; they’d never laugh together or read manga together again. She never even got to say good-bye to any of them or let them know she was alright. It was too late to be able to do that now.
Edward had run after her and hadn’t been searching long when he spotted her sitting on the park bench. “Natalie, there you are,” he said walking up to her.
“Go away,” she said barely loud enough to be heard. “I don’t want to talk right now.”
Edward sat down on the bench next to her. “No, I’m not going to just go away. You shouldn’t be alone right now…”
Natalie lifted her head and looked at him. She still had that look in her eyes, the lost, given up look and her face was stained with tears. It tugged hard at Edward’s heart seeing her like this.
“This isn’t your fault Natalie, it’s mine. I should have listened to you when you said you could lose something precious, I should have said or done something to get you to stay instead of insisting on coming with you. There’s probably a million other things I could have done instead, but that doesn’t change the way things are. I can’t sit here and let you hold it all inside and blame yourself. Please…”
Natalie still just looked at him, and then she got mad. “Shut up,” she said through gritted teeth, her hands clenching into fists. “Just shut up! Maybe you’re right, so what? What can you do to make it right? Nothing! Now just leave me alone!” She yelled, getting up and starting to walk away from him. He got up and grabbed her arm stopping her.
“Damn it Natalie, I don’t blame you for getting mad at me but don’t walk away, don’t run away.”
She turned to face him, her eyes piercing as they fell on him. “Why shouldn’t I Edward? What do I have left? I’m alone, I can’t go home. I’ll never see my family or my friends again.”
Edward looked hurt by what she said and got angry himself. “What about everyone you’ve met? What about the new friends you’ve made? What about them huh? Don’t they mean anything to you?” He lifted her arm so she was forced to look at the bracelet that Jupiter had given her. “Look at that, what about Jupiter and the other scouts, don’t they mean anything to you? What about Negi and the girls in 3-A, you’d forget all about them too?” His face softened a bit and saddened, “And what about Alphonse, and what about me… you still have me. You still have all of us… I know it’s no replacement for the family and friends you’ve lost but can’t we be enough now?”
Natalie stayed fixed on the bracelet and then lifted her other hand up so she could see the ring he’d given her during the Mahora Festival. She started to cry again and felt weak. Seeing that she looked like she was going to collapse, Edward held her. Seeing her like this made tears well in his eyes too. “Please Natalie, don’t give up, I beg you, don’t give up. You helped me so much now please let me help you. If you love me at all anymore, please…”
Hearing him say that made her cry even more. She didn’t know what to do, what to say. Did he really think she didn’t love him? That’s when it dawned on her exactly what she’d said to him. It hadn’t been much but it was more than enough to be painful. Of course he’d think that she didn’t love him. Here he was blaming himself for everything trying to make this easier for her to bear and she had just pretty much said none of that mattered, that he didn’t matter. She wrapped her arms around him now burying her face so he couldn’t see it. What was she supposed to do though? “I still love you,” she said softly.
He released his hold on her a bit and put his finger under her chin making her look up at him. “What was that?”
She was breathing quick trying to keep the tears at bay, her face puffy and red and the muscles twitching as if she were ready to start balling again but she kept it back. “I said I still love you… I’m sorry Ed, I’m so sorry. I just don’t know what to do now… I always thought no matter what happened I’d always be able to go home.”
He gently brushed her bangs out of her face and smiled softly at her. “Come on, let’s go back and sit down, then we can talk OK?”
Natalie nodded and let him guide her back to the bench. She sat down, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees just looking out at the people walking on the street. Edward sat next to her, putting his arm gently across her shoulders drawing her closer to him.
“I should be the one saying sorry to you Natalie,” he said before he kissed her on the top of her head lightly. “You’ve given up everything for me and the only thing I seem to have given you in return is trouble and pain.”
Natalie shook her head. “That’s not true, Ed.”
“No it is, but…” He reached into his pocket and took out the bag that had the ring in it. He took her hand and put the bag in it. “I want to make that up to you.”
“What’s this?”
“Open it…”
She undid the string on the bag and emptied it into her hand. The ring fell into her palm and she picked it up and looked at it. “Where did you get this?” she recognized the ring from the Fullmetal Alchemist game she’d played. This thing was one of a kind and precious.
“The other Edward gave it to me before we left. He said I should give it to you when I thought the time was right. I was going to wait but…”
“Ed?” She turned her gaze to look at him.
He took the ring and put it on her left ring finger. “Equivalent Exchange…”
She looked at him oddly. “What?”
“Equivalent Exchange, I’ll give you my life if you give me yours…”
Natalie chuckled and her face got soft and she started to cry gently. “Alchemy? Really?”
“It’s what I know, what can I say?” he said with a shrug. “Just tell me you’re OK with that. I’d like you to come back to Resembool with me; we can make a new home there, together,” he said as he got up from the bench and knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his and looking up into her eyes. “I love you Natalie and I don’t want to make you cry anymore, not from sadness or pain. I know I can’t replace what you lost but…”
She took one of her hands from his and put a finger to his lips and smiled, the tears still streaming down her cheeks. “You talk too much, you know that?” Natalie paused for a long moment then closed her eyes and nodded. “I accept your exchange Mr. Elric.”
He smiled at her, reaching up and pulling her off the bench. She fell with a squeal into his arms as they both fell over onto the ground. He held her tight and kissed her deeply. “You really know how to make a guy nervous you know that?”
“Yeah but it’s why you love me,” she said with a laugh.
“One of many reasons,” he said smiling as he got up. Once he was on his feet he helped her up as well. “Come on, we should get back. I know Yuko doesn’t care but I get the feeling that Watanuki guy does. We should at least let them know everything is alright now.”

No comments:

Post a Comment